am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
