How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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