What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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