I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
