angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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