I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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