Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
