If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
