Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
