Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
