Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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