Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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