Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
