Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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