he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
