went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
