i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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