Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
