Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I would ride that face into the sunset
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
