he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
