Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
