at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize