you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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