Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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