Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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