I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
