1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
