He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
