yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
