Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
