I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
