The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
