I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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