Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
