I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize