I think im going to throw up on grandma
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
