This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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