she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
