Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to make out with him forever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
