I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's like iHOP with fire
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize