is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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