im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
