What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
