Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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