doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
