Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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