You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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