4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
