i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
