It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
