I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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