How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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