Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
