So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
