we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
