You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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