also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
