Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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